Motherhood

I have the distinct pleasure of speaking in church on Mother's day. Seven minutes on anything about motherhood. Blech. It's hard! Mother's Day can be a tough holiday - so many who miss their deceased moms, have strained or broken relationships with their moms, cannot have children, have straying children ... or maybe just don't appreciate the hype, and correlating disappointment, associated with a day of anticipated appreciation that is not adequately given. 

So I could do the typical "this is how great my mom is" talk, complete with the required two minutes of tears. Or name every one in the congregation by name and talk about how perfect they are. I don't like those kinds of talks, where you are left feeling inadequate and frustrated. I could talk about my pioneer ancestors and how they could skin a rabbit with their bare hands or protected their children in the folds of their skirts during a snow storm. But nah. Doesn't feel right.

The men in my life have been so helpful. My dad suggested I talk about how great I am. You know, use lots of sentences starting with, "Another really great thing I do as a mom ..." or, "My kids are the best because ..." It's a sure way to not be invited back to the pulpit.

Dave is perhaps my biggest supporter. His first suggestion was to talk about how motherhood begins. Give a good ol' birds and the bees talk over the pulpit; it would be a twist on the traditional Mother's Day talk. Wonder how long I could go before the bishop stops me.

He thought I should write a talk entitled "Lessons learned from watching my daughter mother her baby dolls".  Really, children can go weeks without a feeding. It's funny if your baby pees on you. If you drop them on their head, just dust them off, no harm done. Pen marks make babies cuter.

Next he suggested an acrostic poem to emphasize key points: meals, understanding, truth, home, eternity, role model. You know, MUTHER. See if anyone catches it.

He's also been throwing all the "your mama" jokes at me that he can think of.

I think I'll probably go with something else.